SHINE
Laura Blair
Many years ago, my husband and I attended a charismatic church. This group of people was very focused on missions. They sent their youth on mission trips to Africa, the Caribbean, and South America. Several times a year, missionaries would come and speak about the work they were doing overseas. We caught the mission bug and began praying about where the Father might want to send us.
Never mind that we had six children and a mortgage. J We just had to pray and get support. I was convinced that I was going to go to Russia. I’m not sure now how I “knew” that, but I remember my mother getting very upset when I told her my plans. Then we decided to remain in America, but be a witness to the Native American tribes. My husband had grown up in Arizona, and he felt like it was time to return there. We would sell our house, buy a motor home, and live in RV parks while preaching the good news. I even called a couple RV parks to get an idea about the cost of lot rent. Oh, baby number seven had just arrived too.
Let me tell you a little bit more about this church. There were about 100 people, mostly in their 30s and 40s. The pastor was remarried after a messy divorce. He didn’t have any children. He didn’t want any children. Our family, with six children, was the biggest family there. The first Sunday we were there, I was told, “gee, people here complain that I have four! And you have six?!” A couple families home schooled, but again, one of the first things that I heard was, “home schooling is not supported here; we are a small minority.” What was encouraged is time spent with the Father. They called it “carpet time” or “floor time”. The idea was that you played some worship music while lying on the floor, listening to whatever He had to tell you. Many people had visions. Many people got “called” into the ministry.
I tried this at home. Once. I told the children to leave me alone for a couple hours. I listened to the worship music and I lay on the floor. I ended up crying rivers, and feeling useless. How could I be used when I had all these children to care for?! How could I hear anything from HIM above the wail of hungry babies?!
My husband Brian and I attended every service this church had: Sunday mornings and Friday nights. Plus, we were home group leaders on Wednesdays, and I was on the worship team which meant Thursday night practices. Where were our children?-In Sunday school (and upstairs when we had our home group meetings). Babies were kept in the nursery so that the parents could hear the messages. The older ones attended youth group and were encouraged to go on mission trips.
What did all that accomplish? Frustrations mostly. Discontentment in every family member. No one was happy with their place in life. Our children wondered where their mother was. I wondered myself… Does Yahweh make mistakes? Does He call everyone to do great things? The answer to that last question is “yes”, He calls us all to greatness. The problem is our perception of what is great and what isn’t so great.
The church we attended for three years did not focus on children and families. Hence, there were divorces and teen pregnancies and unfaithful spouses and unhappy people. They were not taught their value as mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. They were great just as they were, but didn’t know it.
Look at the Old Testament. How many people were called to go and preach? Very few. And only Jonah comes to mind as someone who actually had to go very far away and to a foreign people. There were a few prophets who had a hard message for Israel and Judah; but not for the other nations. When we read about Abraham and Sarah, especially from Jewish literature, we learn about the way in which they proselytized. People came to them. Israel was to be a light on a hill, drawing the stranger to them and their Elohim.
Oh, I know, but what about the New Testament and Yeshua’s mandate to take the good news to the outer parts of the earth? Those verses can be found in the last chapters of Matthew and Luke. (not Mark; research that yourself J) Yeshua knew that Rome was going to destroy Jerusalem. Persecution forced His followers out of Jerusalem, out of Palestine, and into other nations. Paul’s letters and the other epistles we have encourage proper behavior in believers. There isn’t much in the way of “go ye and preach”. It’s more about living in peace with all men, loving the brethren, being good husbands and wives, giving money, etc.
Leaving that church, and Christianity’s teachings about missions and evangelism, has changed our lives. I know that I am doing a GREAT work by training up my children in His ways. I know that I am doing amazing Kingdom building when I build my house with wisdom and kindness. I know that my husband is being like Yeshua when he gives up his agenda to play with our children. I know that my husband is faithful to me, and content with life. We are done chasing some man’s idea of evangelism, and we are being light in a dark world.
You want to be used though beyond the four walls of your house, right? Pray for opportunities to shine. I cannot count the number of times that I have helped old people, or “less than able” people in the grocery store. They cannot reach the high shelves. I can’t either, but I’m not afraid to climb. J A few times, ladies see Dylon with me, and they ask me if my son would be so kind as to assist them. You bet he will. J He loves it! A couple years ago, I felt something within me prompting me to give flowers away to complete strangers at Aldi (our local grocery store). I did it. After a few times I looked forward to seeing who Yahweh wanted to bless next. Oh, their faces would shine… but then the prompting left. I haven’t a clue why it came or why it left; I just need to be obedient when I hear Him. Since I’m not “out and about” like so many others though, I HAVE to listen to Him here in my home. He doesn’t want me yelling at my children. He doesn’t want me to ignore my husband. My light MUST shine HERE FIRST, or I have no business shining elsewhere. Really. Take that verse about a man providing FIRST for his own family, or he is WORSE than an infidel, and apply it to this concept.
Try being nice to your family. Try being content with your life. Try to do the things already in the Scriptures without piling some grandiose guilt onto your life about missions and evangelism. Just try being light right where you are. I dare you. J