Moms and Dads
(Embracing our Yahweh Given Roles)
by Laura Blair
“Mom, Mom…,” the plaintive cries come through the monitor. “Mom!”
That’s me, I’m Mom. Our 10 year old daughter is feeling ill this Sabbath. She is resting in our bedroom while I read the Torah portion on the web. But when I hear her call I hurriedly go to her. “What’s wrong, honey?” “I just threw up.” Oh.
Dad took the older, healthier children to the meeting this morning. I stayed home with the sick and the young. This is the way of moms and dads. I do not feel any anger or remorse over this. There was a time that I did.
Thousands of years ago Yahweh created Adam and Eve. The commandment to procreate was given to both. However, only Eve could get pregnant and have the baby. Only Eve could nourish the baby at her breast. Men and women were created with different physical and emotional abilities. I’m not here to argue about submission or curses. I would like to encourage my brothers and sisters to embrace the roles Yahweh created for each of them.
What an age we live in! Society in the developed, Western countries is a long, long way from the nomadic life of Sarah and Abraham. I don’t believe that even Peter, in his letter to believers of his time, was advocating that women return to the exact daily life experiences of Sarah. It was her heart that he wanted women to emulate; her trust in her husband; the faith she learned to have in Yahweh.
I am not an expert on Sarah and Abraham. I’m reading their story in Genesis to my children. There are two examples of Sarah obeying Abraham. On two separate occasions, Abram tells Sarai to tell everyone that she is his sister. Things don’t quite work out as planned, but everything turns out all right. She did as she was told.
We also have two examples of Abraham obeying Sarah. She gives her slave girl, Hagar, to Abram to be his wife, to bear a child for them. Ok, Abram agrees to this. Many years go by and Sarah sees a 17-20 year old Ishmael picking on her dear little Isaac. Sarah goes to Abraham and says “OUT! They must leave!” This bothers Abraham and he has a talk with Yahweh about it. Yahweh says, “Do what Sarah says. Isaac is the promised heir. I will take care of Ishmael too, because he is your son.”
Sarah told Abraham “things have to change in this household!” And I don’t believe she went to him all coy and quiet. My Bible has exclamation points following all her sentences regarding Hagar and Ishmael. Sarah’s main concern was Isaac. She was looking out for her son. And Yahweh did not think she was wrong to do this. As a matter of fact, when Abraham got upset over it, Yahweh backed Sarah.
“According to the teachings of the Torah the woman is the one who sets the foundation of every Jewish home. It is the woman's primary job to ensure that the home is a place of peace and harmony, a conducive atmosphere for spirituality and G-dliness. Her G-d given nature is suited for this purpose. Women are by nature more nurturing, patient, and compassionate. Try leaving Dad at home with the kids for one day and see what happens! Man, on the other hand, is by nature a conqueror. His aggressive nature is meant to be utilized to bring holiness to the population and the world at large. His job may be more glamorous, flamboyant and flashy, for his work is primarily in the public arena where it is easily recognized and appreciated, whereas the products of the woman's labor might be overlooked by the less astute. But, plainly, his work is no more important than that of his female counterpart.” (from www.askmoses.com)
Now here’s where the rubber meets the road… Paul and Peter exhorted the women to look after their households. Some translations say “guard” their homes. But when a woman today tells her husband, “I think the TV is a bad influence in our home. I’d like it gone,” she is met with reluctance and excuses. When she says, “our teenage children are disrespecting me and I need you to deal with them,” she is told she is being too hard, or too emotional, or too controlling. I am not suggesting that men everywhere abandon all reason and begin to cater to their wife’s every whim. I am encouraging the men, my brothers in Messiah, to go to Yahweh with their wife’s concerns.
We do not live like the believers did “back then”. Near one another and “having all things in common.” Women don’t have the water wells and river washings of long ago to meet with their mothers and sisters to glean wisdom. We don’t have the “red tents” for our seasons of niddah, for our down time. We believe ourselves to be so much better off today, but I believe we are missing fellowship, encouragement, and a strengthening bond by being independent, super believers. Because of our lack of righteous, feminine fellow-heirs, women need their husbands all the more to be strong, well-informed leaders in the home.
In I Timothy 5, Paul is setting forth rules for members in a family. In verse 8 he writes, ”But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If this is so concerning food and lodging, how much more so concerning the things of the Kingdom?!