Adam and Eve

A Skit

By Bethany Blair

Cast

Adam

Eve

Serpent

Cain

Requires Fruit Tree

Tech. Crew

Lights

Note: Stage directions and such are in Parentheses. Thank you.

( Lights on ) ( Adam walks in ) “Where am I? Who am I?” ( Look up as if talking to Him ) “What was that? Oh, thank you.” ( Proud ) “I’m Man. I have a nick name? Adam? Quite original. I like it. And...who are You?”        ( Surprised ) “ Oh! Very sorry. I’ve just arrived and I didn’t know. My apologies, Sir.” ( Walks around and sees animals ) “What’s all this then? Sorry, didn’t catch that.” ( Can’t believe it ) “I’m to name them?!”

( Excited ) “By George! Oh yes, of course I’m trustworthy. No, no, I won’t do anything too fancy. My, what luck!” ( Listens ) “Yes, I agree. I probably should rest. I’ve had quite a day already.”

( Lies down. Content. Falls asleep. ) ( Lights off )

( Lights on ) ( Adam walks up to see Eve standing over him. Frightened. )    ( Adam ) “Who are you?!” ( Recovers himself ) “I suppose you’re one of those animals and I’m to name you.” ( Thinks ) “Very well, let’s see...Cow. Yes, that’ll do nicely.” ( Waves hands ) “Now, shoo. I wasn’t quite finished with my nap and I really need to...” ( Cut short by Eve ) ( Angry ) “Excuse me?! I think I can name myself, thank you very much.” ( Adam. Jumps up. ) “Great Scott! You can talk!” ( Eve ) “Well, of course I can talk! What do you take me for anyway?” ( Eyes wide and angry ) “A cave woman?!”          ( Adam. Confused ) “Well, I...” ( Cut short by Eve ) “Never mind. Now, to this name calling. I don’t see where you get off telling me what my name is. You could’ve at least asked me what I prefer or something.” ( Adam. Still confused. ) “I see. ...I’m very sorry. It’s just...well, Sir told me to name all the animals and I...” ( Cut short again by Eve. Eyes wide and furious. ) “ANIMALS?! You are calling me an animal?! I cannot believe this! Do I look like an animal to you?” ( Adam. Upset and confused ) “Well, that’s what you are, aren’t you?!” ( Eve. Lofty. ) “I most certainly am not. And I’d thank you to have no more of this name calling. ( Adam. Brings himself up to his full height and towers over her. ) “Very well. If you’re not an animal, what are you?” ( Eve. Stands on the tips of her toes, trying to be as tall. ) “I’m a human being. Just like you. You’re nothing special, you know.” ( Drops down to her right height. ) ( Adam. Contemplating her. ) “Your voice is higher, you’re much more rude, and all that hair on your head does make you look like an animal. But, I guess you could pass as human.” ( Lights off )

( Lights on ) ( Adam up in a tree escaping Eve ) ( Out of breath ) “Finally! My, but she’s annoying! Nag, nag, nag. Can she do anything else?” ( Fake pleasantness ) “Oh, yes. I forgot. She can name things.”

( End pleasant voice ) “And her excuse is mind boggling!” ( Fake girl voice ) “Sorry. You just don’t have the feminine touch for names, dear.” ( End girl voice ) “Rubbish. I came up with fine names.” ( Looks up and sees Eve coming ) “Oh no! Here she comes!” ( Eve with Serpent ) “I wonder where he is. He could at least try to be useful.” ( Walks toward Fruit Tree ) ( Serpent. Accent on S sounds. Speaks slowly and softly. ) “The fruit looks nice, eh?” ( Eve ) “Yes, it does.” ( Serpent. Sly ) “Go ahead. Take a bite.”

( Eve. Hesitant. ) “Sir doesn’t like us to. At least, that’s what Adam said.”

( Serpent ) “What has Adam ever done that would make you believe him? He’s rude, smelly, and dull.” ( Tricky ) “You know, this fruit makes you smart. He wouldn’t want you even more smart than you already are, would he?” ( Eve. Surprised. ) “He didn’t tell me that!” ( Serpent ) “Of course he didn’t.” ( Eve. Convinced. ) “I guess it won’t hurt anything. I mean, being smarter never hurt anyone.” ( Takes bite. Adam, who got down from the tree, walks over. ) “What are you eating?” ( Takes it from her and doesn’t give her time to explain. ) “I’ll wait till your mouth isn’t full.” ( Looks at fruit. ) “Looks ripe.” ( Eve, with mouth full. ) “No, no! Don’t!” ( Adam ) “ You know, you shouldn’t be eating so much. You’re getting kinda pudgy.”

( Eve. Looks at her stomach. ) “WHAT?!” ( Swallows. )

 ( Adam take a bite. Talks with mouth full. ) “Nothing personal. Hey, pretty good.” ( Lights off. )

( Lights on.) ( Adam and Eve out of Eden, sitting. ) ( Eve ) “It’s getting hot. You should start the garden soon or it’ll be too late.” ( Adam ) “Do we have to go over this again? Sir cursed me and the soil. It won’t work.”

( Eve ) “That’s because you ate the whole thing! You wouldn’t have been cursed if you had only taken one bite. At least, maybe your curse would be smaller.” ( Adam ( in an undertone ) “Yeah, maybe Sir wouldn’t have said to you, ‘You will follow your husband.’ I could deal with the soil thing, but you...” ( Eyes wide ) “For the rest of my life!” ( Eve. Impatient. ) “Yak, yak, yak. Go do the gardening! ... Oh, great. You woke Cain.” ( Adam ) “I woke Cain?!” ( Cain starts to scream/cry. ) “Ok. I’ll go. I’d rather go fight a curse than listen to him scream.” ( Walks toward door. Eve picks up Cain. Adam stops and looks at Cain. ) “I still think we should have named him Parrot. He sounds like one. Listen to him squawk!” ( Eve ) “We already discussed this. He can’t be named Parrot because I named one of the animals Parrot. I will not have my son named after an animal! ( Looks down at Cain. ) “Besides, he looks like a Cain.” ( Adam. Slightly frustrated. ) “What do you mean? Something can’t look like a name. It can be a color, a size, and can resemble something else. But it can’t look like a name!” ( Eve ) “We discussed this also.”

( Adam. Frustrated. ) “And I didn’t understand you. At all!” ( Eve. Walks over and pats his shoulder. ) “Darling, you never will.” ( Walks away. Adam turns toward the door again, opens it, and says ) “Wow. For once, I fear you’re right.”

The End